"Sorry, I don't smoke."
May 6th 2010 09:07
It is quite bothersome to be disturbed on your walk when a dirty stink-rag asks you for a cig (see also ciggy, coffin nail, fag, cigarette and smoke).
Generally, I am very nice and I barely say no to the less and unfortunate - no matter what they smell like. But I find that these straddlers of the depressing end on the economic scale possess a tendency to be unpleasant, socially inept and place their needs before anybody else's. Not so nice, I think. Why?
That damn cancer cane.
There are more fun, cost-effective ways of indulging your senses/self-harming (excessive junk food inhalation, replacing sleep with aimless web surfing) and I much prefer mixing all of said habits up to pepper up my ways of living. Yet puffing the toilet vapor still enters the general consumer's mind as a means of retaining his/her/its upstart ways.
I'm not preaching or advising smokers to kick the habit because it's uncool, outdated and lame (though it so IS all of that) but merely discern the cons of it. Besides leaving obvious stains on your dentures (making it really hard for people to like you), it draws unwanted attention. Here I issue the following warning:
The newly manufactured, on-the-field bots living inside of reporters these days are scouring the smokers hot-spots of your town to exploit and displace your smoke-sucking manner. Invade your private space. Question your moral code. And in the midst of all this chaos, when they shove their microphones into your subtly-but-soon-to-be-visibly decaying face and ask "why do you smoke", what you will respond with? On-the-spot interrogation is never a strength for a fag-toting Joe.
So on that sentimental note I leave you with this: should a reporter disrupt your day with the question you're conscience already pries your existence with, just respond with this - because it tastes like chicken.
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