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AKA The LoL Monster - by The LoL Monster

Singing for pleasure

April 26th 2010 11:43


How does one sound off after a long and stressful day of work and drama? People have friends and partners to vent their troubles upon whilst others choose to just sing out a lung or two. I'm in the latter category (oh yes, I'm an orientalised Pavarotti with a cool edge).

The practice itself has always fascinated me ever since I could stand on my own chubby feet and first heard the harmonic musings of the one pseudo black-diva that goes by Mariah Carey. Oh, how a five-year-old individual like myself used to hit those veraciously high notes without regard for society. Or girls.


I strongly believe everyone has the ability to sing well. All it takes is a bit of practice, a bit of passion and alot of free time. Don't believe the dipsticks that tell you it's a natural-born gift that only exists within the chosen ones. Remember that these "chosen people" get incurable syphilis on their stupid faces. Look out Justin Bieber, all that "Baby baby" chanting will eventually land you as a missing child on a little segment Australia likes to call, "Crime Stoppers."

I advise that everyone, when you have the time, confine yourself in a room, car or just a space, pump up one of your favourite jams and sing it 'til your throat can no longer process oxygen. I promise you, your day will become much more brighter than the sun's exposed genitals. Do it now.

And please, fight all temptation of fondling yourself.
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