Dedication to customer service
December 28th 2010 12:56
I generally do not relish watching one's humiliation unfold before my own eyes, especially when that poor soul doesn't even realise it.
I spritz my most prized cologne, I wear my most handsome dinner jacket jeans ensemble and I step out the house in my shiniest dress shoes. The perfect formula for aesthetic pleasure. On top of all this, I chew on some strawberry-flavoured gum - because I'll be engaging in a lot of conversation tonight.
Moments later, I'm settled at my table sharing great bouts of laughter and joy with my company whilst waiting for service to come our way. Then a bright and cheerful waitress appears out from the doldrums of the dish station. I immediately felt that she possessed a sense of belonging as she whisked out her notepad and a blue pen that once sat comfortably between her head and right ear.
Relieved to feel less hungry and desperate, I greeted with an ear-to-ear smile and a warm, "Good evening" whilst continuing to chew innocuously. Her positivity seemed to be quite contagious as it spread across to the other members my entire table, it almost looked inhuman. "What would you like to start with?" she asked with a light, genuine concern. As she looks down at her pad ready to scribble down my order, I utter the first "I" in what was supposed to be a run-of-the-mill casual response. But in actuality, my lovely piece of chewing gum flies out of my mouth and lands directly on the carpet. A shutter travels down my spine and I quickly scramble to try and pick it up without notice. Then she, being the hard working employee that she is, bends down and adds, "Please, allow me." I wince.
My ball of chewed gum reserved its spot on the floor for about 4.5 seconds before being man-handled by her. As you are probably now aware, she did not actually realise it was freshly-chewed up gum (on the account that I honestly (and you I hope) don't know ANYBODY who is that willing to pick up one's mouth waste out of courtesy). Now when a moment like this occurs, it's true what they say - it's like watching a car crash into a lamp post in slow-motion and you simply cannot do jack-shit to stop it. My stare of shame interlocked with her obvious-yet-oblivious curiousity. She then proceeds to inspect the grossness that was my breath freshener with great astonishment. I in the mean time cannot take my eyes off it, clearly having a deer-in-the-headlights moment. Unable to crack the mystery she tucks it away in her apron pocket and returns her gaze back to me, followed by a "Sorry what you were after again?"
To this day I do not enter a restaurant without making sure that teeth aren't without minty freshness and that my mouth is without any traces of gum.
So there, I hope my secret shame gave you guys few seconds of relieving laughter.
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