10 WORDS THAT SHOULD BE BANNED FROM THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
September 26th 2008 06:13
I've had it!!! That's IT!!! If one more person says to me that whatever they have experienced is a ``journey'' I will EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!! What is it with society? Can't we think beyond reality TV when trying to come up with descriptors? So, here it is, my 10 most hated words:
1> Journey - it is so f not a journey if you don't actually GO anywhere. Idol is NOT a JOURNEY!!! It may be a trip down shit lane, but that's about it. A journey is going from Brisbane to Afghanistan on camel back - not standing up in front of a camera and singing like a broken shingle.
2> Random - OK, so Facebook has a lot to answer for and this little gem is one of them. Random is a selection based on an absence of pattern or qualifiers. Putting a photo of Bill Cosby on your Facebook profile is not totally random, it's just you trying to be retro, which is an incredibly unrandom act designed to express your personality. You are not a black man who redefined American society by showing positive African-American characters on prime time TV, using comedy to deflect social unrest.
3> Kind regards - Yes, it's two words, I know. But as a phrase it's so... unkind. What's wrong with regards, or just plain Thanks... And I am always tempted to sign Kind Retards... one day I will, I know it
4> Cheers - as a sign off, is there anything more 1978? Come on, the only time this word should be used is in relation to a very cheesy sitcom starring Ted Danson.
5> Gen Y - Again, twoish words. Those poor, poor young people! I am so glad to be old! So much pressure and dirt dished on this particular set of human beings... Let's stop talking about Gen Y and start talking about something that really matters, like global economic turmoil and the fact that young people will probably never be able to buy a house unless there is a total, brutal recession...
6> Beearch - Or B1, or whatever. Just because a woman decides to not be nice they are suddenly compared to a female canine. Never understood it. Ban it. Or I will bite you. And using the gangster version of it doesn't make it any cooler or current - it just makes you sound like a try-hard whitie itching to get popped.
7> Reality TV - again not one word, more like a long nightmare. Reality TV is a bad sitcom without a script. Why do we ingest it? Why are we surprised that our minds are so constipated?
8> (insert TV station here)2 - what crap. Just an excuse to put shows that have already played back on the telly to get another few points in ratings off competing networks. Please, HD does not mean Has been, Done that... No one's watching, anyway, because we've seen it months before on YouTube
9> LOL - IRFHTS. ISM. The fact that you have to tell me you are laughing out loud just makes me feel lonely and morn the loss of human contact thanks to the relentless march of technology... Just say, Ha, or Funny, or You are so clever, here is a contract to write a sit com, to be screened on ABC2 to an audience of Gen Y who will enjoy your personal journey into multi-millionairedom, kind retards...
10> Top 10 - because they shit me. I love them, but they are like heroin - just one hit and you are hooked, forever chasing that next taste - which has to be bigger, better than the last ... sigh.
1> Journey - it is so f not a journey if you don't actually GO anywhere. Idol is NOT a JOURNEY!!! It may be a trip down shit lane, but that's about it. A journey is going from Brisbane to Afghanistan on camel back - not standing up in front of a camera and singing like a broken shingle.
2> Random - OK, so Facebook has a lot to answer for and this little gem is one of them. Random is a selection based on an absence of pattern or qualifiers. Putting a photo of Bill Cosby on your Facebook profile is not totally random, it's just you trying to be retro, which is an incredibly unrandom act designed to express your personality. You are not a black man who redefined American society by showing positive African-American characters on prime time TV, using comedy to deflect social unrest.
4> Cheers - as a sign off, is there anything more 1978? Come on, the only time this word should be used is in relation to a very cheesy sitcom starring Ted Danson.
5> Gen Y - Again, twoish words. Those poor, poor young people! I am so glad to be old! So much pressure and dirt dished on this particular set of human beings... Let's stop talking about Gen Y and start talking about something that really matters, like global economic turmoil and the fact that young people will probably never be able to buy a house unless there is a total, brutal recession...
7> Reality TV - again not one word, more like a long nightmare. Reality TV is a bad sitcom without a script. Why do we ingest it? Why are we surprised that our minds are so constipated?
8> (insert TV station here)2 - what crap. Just an excuse to put shows that have already played back on the telly to get another few points in ratings off competing networks. Please, HD does not mean Has been, Done that... No one's watching, anyway, because we've seen it months before on YouTube
9> LOL - IRFHTS. ISM. The fact that you have to tell me you are laughing out loud just makes me feel lonely and morn the loss of human contact thanks to the relentless march of technology... Just say, Ha, or Funny, or You are so clever, here is a contract to write a sit com, to be screened on ABC2 to an audience of Gen Y who will enjoy your personal journey into multi-millionairedom, kind retards...
10> Top 10 - because they shit me. I love them, but they are like heroin - just one hit and you are hooked, forever chasing that next taste - which has to be bigger, better than the last ... sigh.
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Comment by Morgan Bell
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i have to say that "random" has been around alot longer than facebook, i can clearly remember one of my friends calling something "uber random" back in 2002 . . . i think its a Bill & Ted throwback which was kind of revived in Dude Wheres My Car
very funny post though, i really did lol
Comment by Amanda3